You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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