mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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