So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
