so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
