WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
