Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
