Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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