yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
