3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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