don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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