Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
