Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize