Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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