At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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