p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
