that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
