O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
