stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
