She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
