i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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