oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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