I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
