with your own penis?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
