If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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