he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
