she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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