im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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