dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
