All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
