I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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