you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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