Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
