you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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