nut hugger
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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