it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
