Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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