Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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