Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
