doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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