Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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