Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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