Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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