i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
