I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
