I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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