i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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