I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
