so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Randomize
