Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
