do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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