Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
