Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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