shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
